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A week ago Little Miss B entered the world. Amidst the fear and uncertainty, she is a reminder that even in the darkest times, there is always a glimmer of hope. Rainbows have become the symbol of the hope we all carry that we will get through this pandemic. And for me, Little Miss B is my little rainbow.

I am very much in the newborn bubble. Whilst my husband entertains Little Miss H, I spend my days in our bedroom feeding, winding, cuddling and savouring every last drop of gorgeous newborn cuddles.   Part of me is actually enjoying the lockdown because I have been able to spend this time with my baby guilt free. I don’t have to get up and dressed if I don’t want to, the house does not need to look immaculate, I don’t have to face a stream of visitors. I also think Little Miss H has benefitted from a calm household. I have not seen one glimmer of jealousy. I wonder if this is because she is being given time to adapt and get used to her new sister, without lots of different people around who would inevitably be fussing over the baby.

But then there is a part of me which is finding the lockdown incredibly tough. It’s hardly surprising that on day five when my hormones will have peaked, I was in tears. It was after a morning of having listened to Little Miss H have tantrum after tantrum. I am very mindful that her little life has been turned upside down, and all sense of routine upon which she thrives has gone. And despite my husband’s best efforts, he is not attuned to her in the same way as I am. He does his best but at times struggles to defuse certain situations which will inevitably lead to a toddler meltdown.

I also just miss seeing people. I miss my friends and I feel incredibly sad that our families are missing out on these wonderful early days of Little Miss B’s life. Facetime and Zoom are great but they can never take the place of face to face interaction.

So what can I take away from these reflections?

  • Live in the moment – I need to avoid wishing time away, to a time when restrictions will be lifted. There are moments happening right now to be savoured and enjoyed.
  • It’s just got to be good enough – So Little Miss H is having more tantrums than normal. I am sure if I were to speak to any other Mum right now, they would be saying the same. I need to not beat myself up about this.
  • Practise gratitude – I know I have mentioned this in previous blogs but right now this is so vitally important. I have a gorgeous new daughter who has made my little family complete. For this I am truly grateful and she reminds that despite the challenges, there is a lot of good in the world right now.

Whether you are religious or not, I am personally taking great comfort In the words of the Serenity Prayer, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference”.

Stay safe and stay well.